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Dialectical means two things that seem contrary can be true at the same time. I can feel both happy and sad. I can hate treatment and know that I need it. Circumstances can be hard and good. Dialectical means using “both, and” instead of “but, or.” I can acknowledge my present circumstances AND work towards more valued living. I can make decisions based on emotion AND logic. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy is an evidence-based therapeutic modality that explores these perceived dichotomies.
Many people are familiar with the serenity prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.”
DBT seeks to help you learn skills for accepting the present circumstances of life while also teaching change skills to lead toward more valued living. Acceptance skills include mindfulness skills and distress tolerance skills. Change skills include emotion regulation skills and interpersonal effectiveness skills. These skills can be harnessed and utilized through a mindset that DBT refers to as “Wise Mind.”
Wise Mind is the intersection of our emotion and logic. We access this balance between reason and feeling in order utilize skills for acceptance and change.
The first step is acceptance - accessed through mindfulness and self-soothing skills such as journaling, hot showers, and yoga - then deciding what the next right step is by checking in with both your emotion and logic. Both emotion and logic are ripe with important information about what is uniquely valuable and meaningful to you.
Why is acceptance the first step? We can only start where we are. One of the things that keeps many of us stuck and anxious is the emotional struggle against reality. For example, thinking “life would be easier if...”, “I’ll be happier when...” These thoughts refuse to acknowledge present circumstances, which is often paralyzing. Acceptance absolutely does not mean approval. In fact, that’s where the emotion comes in. The lack of approval or satisfaction with life reveals an important desire for change.
Wise mind is intentional and mindful, not reactive. It considers both where we are and where we want to go, both reason and emotion. For example, the Wise Mind is courageous, which means acknowledging fear AND making a decision in line with what is needed in the given circumstances.
Through Wise Mind, you will be able to access both the emotional and logical parts of yourself in order to accept and improve the quality of your life.
Wise mind is intentional and mindful, not reactive. It considers both where we are and where we want to go, both reason and emotion.
Through Wise Mind, you will be able to access both the emotional and logical parts of yourself in order to accept and improve the quality of your life.